Puteri Bte Md Rizal

Birth... no matter how many times I've witnessed my wife giving birth, I still will not know how it feels like. I can see that she is suffering, and I know it's the most painful physical body function to experience, and each time I feel helpless., standing by her side. Apart from standing there, with words of encouragement, I'm practically helpless and useless.

On 22nd April, the day started like any other day, except that Juliana and Iman, are both out of school due to chicken pox. By afternoon, Yati was bleeding more and more, and so we had to leave the children at home by themselves (something we have never done before), to go KKH. Upon reaching, we were directed to the labour ward, and a doctor examined her. Even after telling him there were a lot of blood, and asking to be induce, he said its early labour signs and ask us to go home and wait.... we went home.

6pm that same day, she had more bleeding, and the pain got intense, very intense. By 8pm, we told the children they had to stay at home by themselves, and we had not much time to explain to them what to do, and we told them to just sleep, and hopefully by morning, their sister will be born.

9pm we reach KKH, and we requested to be warded to the labour ward, no more asking the doctor. By 10pm, she was examined and by 12pm her water bag was broken by the doctor. But no, she cannot deliver yet, the baby's head is still too high, and we had to wait. By 2am, the pain was getting too unbearable for her, and doctor suggested taking the epidural. By 3pm, the epidural was administered to her spine, and she was calm, not feeling the contractions and pain anymore.

By 6am, the cervix was fully opened, and the baby's head had came down, and its time to push her out. But because of the epidural, her sensations from the waist down was gone, and she could not push the baby out. By then we can hear the baby's heart beat getting slower and slower, which means that the baby is in distressed. But a mother's love is strong, and she mustered all her strengths and all the energy she had, and begin pushing the baby. Its a miracle where she find the strength. And so an hour later, at 6:45am, Puteri came out into the world. And so after nearly 10 hours in the labour ward, I saw the most beautiful thing I ever see in my entire life. I've seen and gone through the other 3 deliveries before, but this one really makes me teary, and I fought back the tears, its a guy thing, act macho.

I love my 3 other children, and thankful for them, but this time, at that moment when she came out, I felt so at peace and so thankful for her presence... its like I wanted her and needed her so badly in my life. Like all my worries and fear just disappeared, and everythiing will be ok and I really got very emotional. Immediately after everything is settled, I leave and drive off home. In the car, while I'm alone and driving, I cried non-stop. Feeling so very thankful to Allah.

I have THE utmost respect for midwives who everyday witness and orchestrate the childbirth process that comes in everyday in the delivery ward. Doctors... not so much, they always have this "higher" pesona, and have cold stare/look, that doesn't gives me much confidence in them. Midwives are experienced nurses and will pretty much give you any answers you have about childbirth, as they have seen it all and done it all, and I have more confidence in them than doctors.

One thing I can't explain about myself is, I do not feel disgusted, quissy, nauseus at all seeing all the blood and gore of what went on down there... I really feel nothing... and I keep asking myself... am I sick? am I heartless?... that's why I say, as a father/man I will never know what type of pain and suffering my wife and any other women in the world went through during childbirths...

But I know and seen that its hard... really really really hard... and I sincerely hold this words dear, to all women, and especially to my wife and my late mother, "Syurga di bawah telapak kaki ibu", a statement so true for all mothers.

Sengatan Ayam

Latest Update : Juliana also got Chicken Pox

Varicella

haiii.... apa ajelah... tengah sibuk nak tunggu Puteri keluar, si abang dia ni pulak dapat Chicken Pox.... kalau kena bulan depan ke, tahun depan ke takpe jugak... ni kalau baby dah terkeluar, macam mana aku nak separate kan dia orang ni.

Tapi as long baby dalam perut, dia safe tak kena jangkit, pasal mak dia dah immune. Chicken Pox ni betul-betul selalu salah timing, dulu bila Juliana dalam kandungan, mak dia pulak kena jangkit, lepas tu Doktor "Badigol-So'od" kat clinic pulak, suruh pergi abortion pasal cakap nanti baby boleh cacat. Macam nak kena penampar doktor muda tu, Alhamdullilah Juliana besar ok aje.

Ayam oh ayam... kenapalah kau gigit si Iman ni...

Marina Barrage

We were at Marina Barrage last Saturday. I have no idea what place is this, but the kids have been there for school excursion. And really I have not heard anything about this place, so I just followed the signs leading there.

Well, apparently, after explanations from the wife, the barrage is actually a Dam (hmmm... a Dam in sg, maybe thats why I don't give a damn... hehehe no pun intended). The kids love the place, and we got mama to walk-walk to get Puteri to come out.

Anyway, there's nothing in sg that I find fascinating or breath-taking, but that place is quite impressive (I can't believe I said that). Nice view, open spaces, interesting info gallery, water park... ok I'll be back....

Impian Puteri

Puteri Bte Md Rizal
Date of Arrival :
24th April 2009

by Caesarean section

Takan Hilang Melayu di Dunia

Nama-nama melayu asli :
Dara, Teruna, Aduka, Puspasari, Arjuna, Melati, Kencana, Seri, Kasih, Chinta, Kenanga, Damaq, Kesuma, Intan, Nilam, Ayu, Mayang, Chantik, Chempaka, Embun, Endun, Hendun, Damak...

Kalau dapat go back in time, I will re-named my children Dara (juliana), Indera (iman), Kenanga (nadhirah)... yeah...yeah... most of you think... "eh.. eh.. kuno-nya, mana ada orang namakan anak dia orang macam gitu"... tapikan... apa salahnya... think about it.

For me, my parents gave the best malay names for their children : Sarah, Kamisah, Kadir, Ramli, Rashid, Raniah, Ramlah, Rashidah, Rehana, Salinda, Rizal.... just look at those names, there's no western sounding nor arabic meanings to their names... purely melayu.

I wished our malay society will be brave enough to use back those names at the top. Seriously, don't you think Arjuna, Nilam, Damak, Mayang.... is such a cool name....

Atuk Video 2009